you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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