Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
