what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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