dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden