fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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