I cannot find my penis.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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