I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
