the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
