It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
