no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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