I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
