I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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