Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
