the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize