piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
