yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize