Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
