Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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