i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
