Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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