Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
