Apparently you make a good broom.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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