is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
