i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you had me at cake vodka
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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