I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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