so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
