btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
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What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
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Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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