P.S. I can't hear my feet
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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