Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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