Nicole vs. Life
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She bit a glass in half.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
