I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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