I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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