Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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