I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
