why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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