elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
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It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
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He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems