Porn is love you can see.
I just threw up on my dentist
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
