A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
