yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize