I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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