i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I smell like Dick and happiness
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