have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
