The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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