I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
