if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
