Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
