you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
