Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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