my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
