Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
