i just google imaged poop.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
