Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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