Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
