Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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