kristin has been a bad kristin
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
