got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
