Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
