im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
