In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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