While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dick very happy bro
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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