You're a womanizer and a bitch.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
