every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
